Audi Q7 (2022) Review

FINALLY, it’s sold and to a lovely young couple, just starting up, who restore my faith in human nature.

I hate haggling, I’m rubbish at it. If I like the person buying or selling the goods I’m happy to settle for more or less than the asking just to ensure they keep in business – it’s why I’ll never be a rich man.

In the shark-infested waters of social media market places the offers roll in which is great. But the corner computer desk is nearly new and cost me the best part of £300. So my price of £80 seems reasonable to me – yet there are those who are still looking to drive a hard bargain, one as low as £50. I’d rather give it to a charity shop.

But in the end the heart-warming young couple say they will have the desk and ask when they can pick it up with no mention of filthy lucre.

My offer of delivering it is welcomed and the fact I can is down to the Audi Q7’s mammoth proportions. Lower the two rows of rear seats, remove the parcel shelf and I have a veritable van, the computer desk slotting in with plenty of space to spare. The load floor height is perfect too so there is no need to bend down and risk throwing a vertebrae. At journey’s end the three of us soon have it unloaded and in the lift heading to its new home.

Not being especially accomplished at DIY, especially of the flatpack variety, I surprise myself by actually finding in one of the drawers the instruction manual and, Sellotaped inside, the six vital screws that attach the desk to the two outer storage units – what forethought.

Now comes the cash bit and I steel myself, with very little resolve, to an awkward haggle. “Have you got the gentleman’s money,” the young lady asks her boyfriend? An envelope is produced and incredulously she adds: “We have added a bit extra for your trouble…”

How nice is that? How nice is the Audi? The answer to both is very nice indeed and as I drive away from the starter home I’m enveloped in a rosy glow of contentment. I like these young people and I love this car.

Q7 has been a stalwart of the Audi SUV range for generations and the latest helps you understand the reasons why. It may not have the new-kid-on-the-block glamour of the etrons but if you are looking for a posh workhorse then this is a good place to start.

In silver, the Q7 is unassuming, almost stealth-like, and masks its considerable girth well. At a glance you remain unsure whether it is a Q7 or a Q5 but that extra length is important in making this a true seven seater SUV.

Aesthetically, changes are minimal as it retains the Q family corporate look. Inside has all the Audi familial trappings too and there’s certainly nothing wrong with that, particularly the clever virtual cockpit which boasts ‘haptics’ (that’s touchscreen with the touchy-feeliness of a click).

Test car comes with the 3.0 litre V6 diesel – yes, remember those – offering 286PS of silky thrust and more importantly 600Nm of lusty torque. It is so smooth that I have to remind myself constantly that it is an oil burner, especially at the pumps. The end sale figure on the pump readout is the only painful prompt.

For some reason I find myself running late this week, progress retarded by a slothful teenager, and the trip computer tells me the news that Q7 is returning just 31mpg under a heavy right foot. Once he is dropped off at school, and my onward journey restarts, the big Audi returns a much healthier 41mpg – that’s more like it.

Cross country you may struggle to maintain this frugal nature because there is plenty of performance to be enjoyed, helped by a brilliant Tiptronic automatic gearbox. Being a Quattro, and with the option to switch the suspension to sporty, you are more likely to drive Q7 with some considerable verve – and very impressive it is too.

Almost 1,000 miles click comfortably by during the week of work and yet at the end of it I am far from frazzled. The Q7 has a hidden quality of just getting on with the job whatever it is asked to do, whether that is plying the motorways or delivering furniture to a happy couple – and for the driver both are equally heartening.

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